![]() ![]() Revise your paper to improve organization and cohesion.Try writing deeper and narrower, if that makes sense? And I think you might want to be careful about focussing on the negative. anything that helps reveal the richness of your cultural roots. What can you share that is going to be different? Think about the food, music, stories, household rules, names for family members, assumptions about money, fashion. Your readers will have read many essays on being an immigrant in America. I’m sure you have some excellent material for this topic, but this feels more like a warm-up than a start to the real essay. You make statements that you are unique, that you value your culture, and that you’ve left a footprint, but you haven’t supported any of this yet. ![]() I think your approach here is too general, and it reads like a lecture on racism, which could alienate your readers. ![]() Have you read any essays that deal with the immigrant experience? There are some really strong essays published on this topic, but most of them relate experiences very vividly, more like short stories than arguments. I feel as if I have left a footprint in my school, encouraging younger Black students to do well and participate more. These experiences push me to do well in school to show that Black students are capable of anything other students can do. However, when I am judged as incapable just because of my race, it does present obstacles. I am happy to be different and have my own unique characteristics. The only difference between us was the color of our skin. Freshman year my parents had to request (more than once) that I be transferred to Honors classes instead of mainstream when a friend of mine transferred over from a different high school, she told me that the counselor highly recommended her to enroll in advanced classes because it would look better on college applications. This further led to the distinction between our two aforementioned groups. Black and Hispanic students were not encouraged to sign up for Advanced Placement and Honors classes, participate in Student Government or even take the SATs and ACTs. She would bombard us with statistics, showing us the results of API scores- divided by race. This is how our Leadership teacher grouped our school throughout the year, words taken from her own mouth. Heres another example the high school I am currently attending is made up of two distinct groups the high preforming Whites and Asians, and the low preforming Blacks and Hispanics. Yes you can not force a Black person to leave the store, but when your eyes follow her around as if she has already robbed you bankrupt, you might as well have. My fed-up teacher finally persuaded the school to allow me to take the test, which I passed.Īlthough there is arguably less racism in this country today, it still exists, rampaging subconsciously in the minds of many American citizens. My parents gladly signed me up, but certain faculty of the school did not want me to take the exam, excuses ranging from shes a second-language learner and were reserving these exams for students who we are absolutely possible will pass. Students were allowed to sign up for GATE to take an entrance exam. For example, in my elementary school there was a program called GATE (Gifted and Talented Education). They doubted my intelligence to the point where it began to take opportunities away from me. Unfortunately, it was not a positive experience with my teachers. I saw this as more positive than negative my friends learned about my culture while I would learn about theirs. Not only did they not look like me, our cultures were completely foreign from each other. I went to an elementary school where there were no students like me. However, all of this changed when I started school. I was taken to weekly Orthodox church services and celebrated holidays based off of the calendar. Luckily for me, my parents infused me with our culture ever since birth, the traditional language of, was my first language. My parents settled in the states about twenty years ago for what many other families travel to the states for a better life for themselves and for their children. Being the first born child of two immigrant parents presented me with a knowledge of two cultures and languages, but a series of obstacles while growing up. Just whipped out in about 25 min, rough draft!!!ĭiscuss how your family’s experience or cultural history enriched you or presented you with opportunities or challenges in pursuing your educational goals. ![]()
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